I've been thinking about my personal style all week and came to this conclusion: I'm going to wear what makes me happy. And right now, that seems to be heading toward the folk-y, romantic side of things. I'm okay with this.

With this in mind, I was cleaning out my closet over the past few days, and I gathered lots of clothes to sell at Buffalo Exchange off Hawthorne in Portland. Hawthorne is one of the coolest streets in Portland, and I was having clothing troubles yesterday. Because it's been so hot here, I settled with a colorful striped shirt and shorts with a corset closure. Basic and simple. I was all like "whatever, I'm just there to sell some stuff - no big deal". So after driving a half an hour to get to the place, I get out of my car with two HUGE bags of stuff, when suddenly a wave of embarrassment crashes over me. Portland, especially in this area, is full of super stylish hipsters - people that I admire and aspire to be - and I'm in a stupid, basic, outfit from Target and I'm NOT EVEN WEARING ANY JEWELRY. To calm my anxiety I leave the bags in the car and head to Peet's, where I find myself behind a group of artistically dressed high schoolers. I hate it when kids travel in groups... because, honestly, I'm kind of scared of teenagers (cue My Chemical Romance). Something about their judgmental eyes, and carefree attitude. Screw high schoolers. I was totally a mess ordering my green tea lemonade, and felt super embarrassed just being there. Sad, right? I know. I felt pretty pathetic.

Then I head to Buffalo Exchange with my huge bags in tow. Is it just me, or is everyone looking at me?  I only end up selling three things there, and I felt totally intimidated by all the adorably-stylish workers. I did, however, end up having a great conversation with the girl helping me out, and it turns out that I'm not the only one who changes 15 times a day.

I have got to get this wardrobe situation under control so I can start to feel confident in unknown territory, especially when surrounded by super-stylish hipsters. Sigh.

Morning Light

When you think of a bohemian girl, what do you think about her?

   To me, she is a super confident, edgy, effortlessly cool girl. She knows exactly where all the cool parties are, knows obscure bands that are just about to become famous, and is fearless about life. She may smoke sometimes, and is super sexy and knows it. She is artistic, and relaxed, and doesn't care about what people think. She is healthy, fit, and one with nature.

  This is the kind of girl I've always wanted to be. I'm very attracted to bohemian styles and patterns, and have been adding those pieces in my closet, but to no avail. I've never been fearless enough to wear them around. The bohemian style is one that is instantly recognized, very styled, and people on the street know exactly the type of person you are. There is no hiding - and bohemian girls don't want to hide. I have been wanting to be this girl for years, but maybe it's time to recognize that I will never be her. 

  But if I'm not bohemian... what am I?

  If I'm attracted to something, doesn't that reflect the real me? 

Blue Goodwill dress and Etsy vintage boots. Mmmhmm

I felt so feminine and beautiful all day. 

Happy Spring, everyone! :)

xoxo

Tweed Ride + Saturday Market

   So my outfits are getting a hair better: I'm actually wearing interesting jewelry! WOAH! Of course, in these picture you can't really see the necklace, but, hey, it was there.

   The first adventure today was to the Saturday Market in Portland, where I bought a print of beautiful art, three rings, and a new coffee mug. It was the most perfect day for it, and I had a great time talking to the vendors. One day, I'm going to own a stand at Saturday Market!

   The second adventure was to the Tweed Ride in Peninsula park, where my mom, dad, and I took pictures of the CLASSIEST PEOPLE ON EARTH. Seriously! This ride is all about putting on tweed, looking like you stepped off the set of a movie, and riding your vintage (or vintage-looking) bike ten miles! Fun? You bet your bottom dollar! I was so inspired by everyone's lovely attire, I had to hold myself back from going to the local thrift store in that second. These people are FABULOUS. Tea length skirts? Hats with flowers? Colorful knee-high socks? Mustaches shaped with wax? YES PLEASE!

After that I transformed into a barista, and played with coffee for the rest of the day.

And on wednesday I'm doing some serious thrifting. Goodwill, prepare yourself for hurricane Emily.

Cheers!

Channelling Kurt

A plaid flannel dress today with black leggings, black socks, and my new shoes. Modeling is hard you guyssss. Thank goodness my wonderful mother was available to snap some photos of me outside of our apartment building. THANKS MOM! I'm sure I'll be more comfortable around the camera soon! But in the meantime be prepared for more looking down and visible awkwardness! Yay!

I have to be honest here, though. I didn't wear the shoes all day. I wore some black Vans instead. I tried to walk around in my new shoes a couple days ago - a short walk to Petco - and I was stumbling around like a newborn gazelle. PLUS I felt TOTALLY high-mantinence for wearing them in public! Gah! BUT these feelings are not going to stop me from wearing them! They're too damn cute to sit in my closet all day, and they totally work with this outfit, no?

Cheers!

Where Soul Meets Body

Feminine, romantic, textural, beautifully detailed clothes GET IN MY CLOSET!
Designers: Ulyana Sergeenko and Elie Saab

Opposite Day

   So, I got in the spirit of things and went to Target yesterday with my head held high and only two items on my list: purple hair dye and a pair of black platform sandals I've been eyeing for weeks.

    I confidently strode in through the automatic doors, and was completely unfazed by all the adorable merchandise that would usually make my wallet fly open. My mind was set. I bee-lined to the shoe department first, and those perfect sandals greeted me. My stomach suddenly became fluttery. They had my size in the color I was looking for. "What if I actually bought these?," I thought. A woman and her daughter came into the same aisle as me, and I quickly made an escape. "I would look SO high-maintainance. Men would hate that," I thought as I noticed I started feeling a bit warm and sweaty. But a part of me wouldn't let the subject drop, and I u-turned around the shoe department THREE times before I made another attempt to put the shoes in my basket. This time the aisle was clear, and, before I thought twice about it, I strode up to those damn shoes and put them in my basket without another word. 

    My next stop was the hair coloring aisle, located in the very-busy beauty department. There was no way in hell I would have the aisle to myself, so I made a strategic approach this time - I found the correct aisle and skirted the outside until I could slide in right next to the bright colors. In front of the purple hair dye, I found myself getting all sweaty again. I was really pushing my emotional limit here. I've never IN MY LIFE dyed my hair an unnatural color. In general, actually, I try to avoid hair dye all together, because the chemicals freak me out. This was something I've always wanted to do, but it was a surefire way to get looked at. There was no hiding with purple hair. My inner-fear was starting to take over. I was just about to walk away, when I put my foot down and screamed in my head," WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK!!?!"  I picked up the dye, put it in my basket, and headed toward the check out. **cue wild applause**

    I picked a guy with tats to ring me up, and walked out of there with my head held high, and a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders. 

  When I put on the shoes after I got home, I felt like a freaking geisha - beautiful, mysterious, and sexy as hell. I have yet to touch the hair dye, but that moment will come soon. I guarantee it!

This is the story of Emily, and how she found her courage, confidence, and self-love through fashion.

The story begins on a cloudy day in Oregon at the beginning of April. I'm sitting here, a 21 year old on my parent's couch, thinking about how I could use more confidence, feel more self-assured, and be a bit more daring with fashion.

I've always been a pretty good dresser up until sophomore year of high school - the year I was thrust upon the main campus with the rest of the other grades, and not isolated on the freshman campus.  Suddenly there were WAY more people surrounding me in a day, and most of them were older than me. I reverted back to my ways as a little sister - don't rock the boat, don't argue, just conform. And conform I did. I embraced jeans, tee shirts, and sneakers; goodbye to the days of neon prints, colorful dresses, and interesting hairstyles! I was so intimidated to be part of a huge crowd, it petrified me to think of ALL of those eyes looking at me if I was different! In consequence, I slid under the radar all through high school, and continued to do so my first three years of college.

I love fashion and it's time to start embracing that! I think once my outside correctly reflects my inside I'll be able to attract better people to me, inner love and confidence, and maybe even break the 4 year singleness streak I've been on! Because I think right now I'm bored by life, bored by the men I attract, and bored at the girl in grey looking back at me. Because I'm not grey, I'm not boring, and my inner self is neither shy nor safe. Now is the perfect time! I moved to a new state, I'm just about to start at a new university this fall, and I have a clean slate to make my future exactly the way I want it.

Day 1:

Grey tee, purple corduroy pants, Vans, brown sweater, and brown corduroy jacket. SNORE. 

Read on for my adventures, and feel free to share insight on your emotional journey! I look forward to sharing this quest with you!

Love,

Emily

Follow my blog with Bloglovin