Opposite Day

   So, I got in the spirit of things and went to Target yesterday with my head held high and only two items on my list: purple hair dye and a pair of black platform sandals I've been eyeing for weeks.

    I confidently strode in through the automatic doors, and was completely unfazed by all the adorable merchandise that would usually make my wallet fly open. My mind was set. I bee-lined to the shoe department first, and those perfect sandals greeted me. My stomach suddenly became fluttery. They had my size in the color I was looking for. "What if I actually bought these?," I thought. A woman and her daughter came into the same aisle as me, and I quickly made an escape. "I would look SO high-maintainance. Men would hate that," I thought as I noticed I started feeling a bit warm and sweaty. But a part of me wouldn't let the subject drop, and I u-turned around the shoe department THREE times before I made another attempt to put the shoes in my basket. This time the aisle was clear, and, before I thought twice about it, I strode up to those damn shoes and put them in my basket without another word. 

    My next stop was the hair coloring aisle, located in the very-busy beauty department. There was no way in hell I would have the aisle to myself, so I made a strategic approach this time - I found the correct aisle and skirted the outside until I could slide in right next to the bright colors. In front of the purple hair dye, I found myself getting all sweaty again. I was really pushing my emotional limit here. I've never IN MY LIFE dyed my hair an unnatural color. In general, actually, I try to avoid hair dye all together, because the chemicals freak me out. This was something I've always wanted to do, but it was a surefire way to get looked at. There was no hiding with purple hair. My inner-fear was starting to take over. I was just about to walk away, when I put my foot down and screamed in my head," WHO CARES WHAT THEY THINK!!?!"  I picked up the dye, put it in my basket, and headed toward the check out. **cue wild applause**

    I picked a guy with tats to ring me up, and walked out of there with my head held high, and a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders. 

  When I put on the shoes after I got home, I felt like a freaking geisha - beautiful, mysterious, and sexy as hell. I have yet to touch the hair dye, but that moment will come soon. I guarantee it!